Actual Text Conversation

The following is an actual text conversation between myself and my friend KermitVonFrog12, aka my only follower.  For  minimal context, I am an insane, jealous, bitter old woman and Kermit is a gregarious, beautiful, YOUNG woman that is universally loved by everyone.  I pretend not to know why EVERYONE loves her, but deep down in the cold bitter black void where a heart should beat, I know why...............and I love her too.............but don't tell her today, I'm too busy being jealous.



Kermit: She followed me on Twitter so now she has my address. I was able to pm her there.

Me: You are famous and loved by all.

Kermit: Shut up.

Me: I will put that on a t-shirt. 
       In honor of you.

Kermit: Staaaaaaaaap!

Me: I followed that stupid git across 7,896 channels for her live fucking show and she didn't so much     as say thanks!  Let alone follow me on Twitter or watch a video.  I am such a loser!  Whaaaaaa!

Ooops, gotta run, my ride just got here.  It's a whaaaaaaambulance!  And weird, it's green.....Wonder what that means?

Kermit: It ain't easy.  Bitch.

Me: Apparently it is for you.......LOL

Kermit: You're keeeeeeeling me.  Tears, I've got tears and snot rolling!  Omg lol

Me: Kleenex just called, they want to sponsor your next video.  And they want to know if you'll be their friend.

Kermit: I can't breathe.  I'm dying.

Me:  Life Alert just called.

Kermit: You might have to blog this.

Me: No one would see it.

Kermit: What, no poise?

Me: Poise is for piss, not shit.

Kermit: Oh God!

Me: Jesus just called.

Kermit: Staaaaaaaaap!

Me: Brakes Plus just called.

Kermit: I'm changing my number.

Me: Jenny just called.  She wants to give you her number.  Got a pen?  867-5309.

Kermit: I've had it...........Officially!

Me: Detox just called.  She wants to fly you to WeHo to do the makeup for her next video with Vicky Vox and Willam.

Kermit: Sorry bout it.

Me: Hasbro just called.  They want to put your picture on the top of the box for Sorry.  And Jenga too.

here we received a picture of Kermit flipping me off............

Me: OPI just called.

here we receive a picture of Kermit's mother, looking at me disapprovingly.......

Me: Your Mom just called.


...............................

Thank goodness Amy still loves me................

DIY mask to detoxify

Howdy friends, wanted to do a quick blog post since I've been off social media for a few days, holed up in my house sick as a dog.  Caught some bug, I'm pretty sure from a woman in front of me at CVS last Tuesday who loudly proclaimed she had pneumonia while coughing all over the place.  Just lovely.  Anyway, thank goodness for Zicam and the flu shot!  One more day of rest (today) and I think I'll be back into the swing of things.

In an effort to feel more human, I decided to try a DIY mask I'd seen on YouTube.  Four days of blowing your nose makes for some pretty dry, chapped skin and I needed something to remind me I'm a girly-girl.  So, here's what I did:

5 tsp warm water
4 aspirin (uncoated)
4 tsp cocoa powder
1 tsp honey

I dissolved the aspirin in the warm water first, then added the cocoa and honey and stirred until I had the consistency I wanted, roughly like thick brownie batter.

I then rinsed my face with warm water to open my pores and applied the mask to my face using a foundation brush.  This stuff smells AMAZING.  If you love chocolate, you will LOVE this mask.  I swear, I think the next time I'm craving chocolate, I'm just going to do one of these masks.  It was that satisfying.... And no, I didn't taste it!  Yuck!

I left the mask on for about 40 minutes.  By then it was dry and starting to flake off a bit and I really didn't want pieces of it falling onto my floor where my dog could get to it.  Cocoa plus dog equals BADDDDDD.   

So, I went upstairs and rinsed the mask off with warm water. 

WARNING:  The main ingredient of this mask if pure cocoa powder.  That is dark brown.  And messy.  When I splashed water onto my face, brown droplets got all over the place!  So, next time I do this mask I will remove it using a wet washcloth first, or I will remove it in the shower.  Just a little tip if you plan on trying this at home.  ;)

After rinsing off the mask, I used a teeny tiny bit of my Meaningful Beauty Skin Softening Cleanser just to make sure there was no residue left.  My face feels lovely, although my cheeks still seem pretty rough and dry.  But considering how brutal being sick has been on my face, it's a lot better than it could be.  And the other areas of my face feel really soft and smooth.  Plus?  Redness?  Totally toned down!  I couldn't get over how NOT RED my face looked!  Here, see for yourself!

So, overall I am extremely pleased with this mask.  I'm glad I have plenty of cocoa, honey, and aspirin to do a million more of these.  This is simple, cheap, and effective and I think it will now be a regular part of my beauty routine.  Thanks again YouTube, you are a wealth of information!

Oh, and Amy was very sad that she didn't get to lick the mask off my face......

Press-on Nails? Oh yeah...............

I ventured out into the wilds of retail today and felt like I stepped through the looking glass into geriatric-landia.  Which was a huge improvement over my homeland yesterday, cat-barf-landia of which I was crowned queen.

So, while out and about, hobbnobbing in the land of misfit nana's and pawpaws, I managed to locate the current objects of my obsession, Impress press-on nails by Broadway.  I am a slave to YouTube the way Britney Spears in a slave to the dance.  Helpless, sweaty, and arguably mentally ill.  But there it is.  And when YouTube tells me something is awesome or great or pretty or OMG ALMOST SOLD OUT AT JUST ABOUT EVERY WALGREENS I'VE BEEN TO well, you know I have to have it.  So it was with these press-on nails. 

I managed to locate the brand at Target and grudgingly took two packages of the standard french tips, then hightailed it to CVS where I located a further selection of these lovely, plastic lady fingers.  I found my holy grail set of black nails, then grabbed a red and another french tip, this time with fancy black and silver scroll work included.  I took my booty home, grinning all the way, and when I got into the house, I might have danced.  In a belly shirt. With a rhinestone in my navel, held there by the sweat of gyrating masses of party-goers and club kids.  Well, it was a really rowdy dance club, in my imagination.

After finishing out my work day (at home), taking the dog for a walk, and sending the boys off to the grocery, I sat down at the kitchen table and applied my first set of press-on nails EVER IN MY LIFETIME.  I know, the horror, the shame.  A child of the 80's, born in the 60's, and never wore a press-on nail.  My name is Kim and I am ashamed.  But today I claim victory.  Plastic lady nails, you are mine at last......

So far, so good.  They went on easily, I followed directions and used the "prep pad" even though it scared me to do so, and have managed to keep my hands out of water for over an hour now.  I will keep you all posted on how these plastic lady fingers wear, if they fall off prematurely, etc.  Hopefully they last at least a few days, since I'd like to be able to keep them for the office on Thursday.  We'll see.  My hopes are highest just before being dashed, and right now the hopes, they are high.  Not as high as that lash lady though.  Egads, I have some scruples.

In other news, do you know what's even better than shopping?  Someone else going shopping and bringing you back sweet surprises!  My boys went to the grocery store and came back with this wonderful, cinnamon scented broom!  I put it in this vase immediately and my entire kitchen and family room smell blissfully spicey!  I love the smell of cinnamon! 

And now I must sashay away, it is Metamucil time and Amy would very much like to go to bed.  She is tired from all the imaginary clubbing we did earlier, her glow sticks have faded, and the glitter in her fur just looks sad now that all the thunderous dance beats are silent.  Good night Britney, good night high lash lady, goodnight nana's and pawpaws everywhere......

Actual Skype Conversation

Tonight, while uploading some video for YouTube, I had the following (one-sided) conversation with my friend Sam on Skype.  She was (obviously) doing something else and not Skyping with me.  To punish her for her insolence, I had a lovely stream of conciousness conversation anyway.  So there.  Take that.



Me:  i'm in upload purgatory.  it's kinda cold in here.  and sterile.  like a weird,  empty waiting room.  i don't like it.
on a brighter note, i like the lighting much better on the new camera setting.
and on another bright now, i remembered to switch the access to "private" so these vids don't go
live before their time.....
before their time........now i want wine.
orson wells.
citizen caine.
rosebud!
sledding!
snow
christmas time
a christmas story
you'll shoot your eye out
secret decoder ring
cereal
captain crunch
crunch berries
now i'm hungry.
whoa, have you seen (name removed to protect the innocent) lashes?  who pays $20 for a pair of lashes?  i think she's high.
which would explain a LOT.
drugs kill dreams
probably why she has no friends.
cuz she's high all the time
who wants to hang out with someone like that?
always high?
eatin cheetos?
gettin that dayglo orange dust on all your stuff?
not me
i have eyeshadow swatches from the base of my thumb all the way to my elbow.
is that weird?
it feels like it's not.
so it probably is.
amy tried to lick them off me earlier.
just had a bottle cap
i'm dissappointed.
it's not cola.
or root beer.
it's like some weird red one
ironic, since red is my favorite flave of most other candy
just not bottle caps

Sam: Omg!!!!!! I wish I could post this thread. Right a book this very instant. !


So, this is as close as I could get to "writing a book this very instant" as commanded by my insolent friend.  Thank you internet, thank you blogspot.

And here is another picture of Amy, since who ends a blog post without a picture of Amy?  Not me.  Maybe that chick that's high.......

Unboxing of BH Cosmetics and ikatehouse

If you haven't been over to my youtube channel, here's a link to today's video showing the unboxing of my recent orders from BH Cosmetics and ikatehouse.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXcwFxHdrTc


As promised in my video, I managed to get all three palettes swatched and photographed so I could share them with you here.  Before we get to the pictures, I want to give a big "shout out" to BH Cosmetics for the 26 Color Palette Neutral Eyeshadow and Blush.  Everything that was sad and yucky about the 28 neutral palette is happy and wonderful in this one.  I can't say that for everything I got from BH today, but I can definitely say it for that one.

Now, let's get to the good stuff!  As always, all swatches are done over Too Faced Shadow Insurance eyeshadow primer.

First is the Malibu palette:

This palette included 16 eyeshadow shades and 4 blush shades.  The 4 blushes were actually two blushes, a bronzer and a highlighter.  I think.....not sure but that's what they looked like to me.  There were about equal numbers of matte shadows to shimmer and unfortunately most of the mattes were chalky and had little color payoff.  They weren't the worst I've had, but not the best either.  A couple of the shimmer shades were really nice but I'm not sure how often I'll use this palette.

The swatches of the left side shadows:

The swatches of the right side shadows and then the blushes:

Overall I'd say it's a decent palette with some fun shadows and some usable blushes.

Next is the Professional Blush Palette.  This palette features 10 blush shades, some of which I liked and some I didn't.  I'm glad I got this palette because I am definitely short on blushes in my collection.  Up until last week, I had a grand total of one blush and used it every time I did my makeup.  Now I'll be able to branch out a little and try some new looks on my cheeks!

And the swatches:

I really like some of the cooler pinky purple shades, more than I thought I would.  Not sure if I can pull them off, but I'd sure like to try.

Lastly, the palette that restored my faith in BH Cosmetics shadow palettes.  I'm finding that my experience is pretty hit or miss with BH, but with their amazing prices, I just don't feel like I can go wrong.  Even if I find a dud here and there, I still feel like I'm ahead of the game.

The 26 Color Palette Neutral Eyeshadow and Blush:

 

And the swatches:

I'm sorry that I didn't do larger swatches but I really wasn't sure how these would look.  Based on the last neutral palette I swatched, I didn't want to waste all my eyeshadow primer doing larger swatches that didn't show up.  I need not have worried.  The shadows in this palette are wonderful.  Soft, creamy, very well pigmented, a pleasure to work with.  There are even a bunch of pink toned shades that should help tide me over until the Urban Decay Naked 3 palette comes out.  I've been obsessing over pink shadows ever since seeing my first glimpse the Naked 3 and I really think this palette is going to let me play with pink now, rather than having to wait until December!

So, that's it for my BH haul.  The rest of the unboxing was false lashes from ikatehouse and while I love the lashes, they don't make great swatches.

But you know what IS great?  Amy!  Dog of my heart!  And here is some Amy love to end my blog post.....

How about more swatches?

Yesterday's swatches were so much fun, I thought I'd do some more for today.  This time, I chose one palette and one collection of loose shadows to show you.

I'll start with the loose shadows.  I have a ton of singles shadows and this weekend, when I was messing around trying to come up with a fun look, I pulled out three to go along with the 4 new MAC shadows I picked up on Saturday.  I swatched the group, took three of the colors I liked the looks of, and created an eye look that I really ended up liking.  Unfortunately, I didn't get a good picture of my finished look.  Sorry.  Anyway, here are the shadows and the swatches:

Starting at the top, left to right
First row: MAC Antiqued, MAC Pink Freeze, MAC Fresh Water, MAC Lucky Green
Second row: L'Oreal Infallible Infinite Sky, MAC Amber Lights, Urban Decay Evidence

Note: All swatches are done over a base of Too Faced Shadow Insurance eyeshadow primer

The swatches:
colors are in the same order as above, starting with MAC Antiqued and ending with Urban Decay Evidence:

After looking at the swatches, I chose the bottom three colors for my look: L'Oreal Infallible Infinite Sky, MAC Amber Lights, and Urban Decay Evidence.  I used the Infinite sky on my lid, Amber Lights in the crease, and Evidence in my outer "V".  It was really pretty, a look I will definitely wear again.

Overall, I adore every one of these shadows.  The four MAC shadows on the top row are brand new to me, and along with Amber Lights are the sum total of my MAC shadow collection.  All the shadows are creamy and richly pigmented with the exception on the Pink Freeze, but that shadow is so delicate and feminine, I just couldn't walk out of the MAC store without it.  The bottom three shadows are incredible.  The Amber Lights is my all time favorite eyeshadow EVER.  The L'Oreal totally blew me away with how creamy and richly pigmented it was.  It feels almost like a cream shadow when you apply it, really luxurious, and the shimmer is amazing.  The Evidence has almost a duo-chrome effect, and made for some nice drama at the corners of my eyes.


Next up is the Vintage palette from Cargo.  I missed the chance to pick this up at Ulta during "Ulta Days" and regretted it almost immediately.  I scoured my local area, then finally turned to the internet in my search to find this palette somewhere.  It finally showed up at Kohl's of all places, but I had to go to three separate locations before I finally found it.  Now that I've finally swatched all the colors, I'm even more glad that I tracked this palette down. 

Here's a shot of the packaging.  It feels like leather and had a fold over magnetic closure.  Nice.

Here is the palette:
Top to bottom, left to right:
Top row: Harvest Moon, Cuddle, Frolic, Cinnamon, Twigs, Black Crow
Bottom row: Crisp, Hot Cocoa, Autumn, Withered Leaves, Rustic, Chestnut

And swatches
Top row:

Bottom row:

The colors in this palette are beautiful, subdued, and very pigmented.  Nothing too bright, but not really a neutrals palette either.  There is a nice mix of lovely fall warmth, shimmer, and matte, with the shimmer shades being my favorite.  I'd have to say Frolic and Cinnamon are my favorites, with Withered Leaves and Rustic coming in close behind.  A lovely mix that I think will get a lot of use.

That does it for today's swatches.  Hope you enjoyed them and again, I will leave you with gratuitous puppy cuteness courtesy of Amy, dog of my heart.....

Swatches is a great place to start!

What better reason to start a blog than to have a place to put all the swatch pictures I took?  So, that's just what I did.  Welcome to Kimiknits plus Makeup!  

I'm currently uber-obsessed with all things makeup, especially eyeshadow.  And I have a LOT of eyeshadow.  Well, for me at least.  I really need to get a handle on it and find a way to organize it all so I know what I have and can get to it when I need it.  And it would be even better if I had some small inkling of what the colors look like on me without having to swatch every time I sit down at my makeup table.

What I sat down to yesterday

When I decided to experiment with looks yesterday, I found myself sitting in front of a ton of loose singles shadows with no idea where to start.  I didn't have the energy to pull out the palettes sitting on the lower shelf because there are just too many colors and I have no idea which ones are great and which ones are not, especially when it comes to the Bh Cosmetics palettes I have.  So.......I decided a little swatching would do me a ton of good.

The first palette I swatched is the BHCosmetics "Party Girl" palette.

Overall, I like this palette.  It's not one I would gush over, but when you factor in the price, this is a really nice palette and definitely worth the money.  As of today, this palette sells for $10.95 direct from BH's website.  I found only a few shades that had a disappointing color payoff, but most of the shadows had a nice feel and seemed well pigmented.  None of the colors have names, so I refer to them by row/number.  So, the top row would be A and each shadow in the row is numbered 1-10.  Let's start with the top row:

Row A, shadows 1-10 left to right

Row B, shadows 1-10 left to right

Row C, shadows 1-10 left to right

Row D, shadows 1-10 left to right

After I finished swatching each shade, I cut a line into each shadow that had very poor color payoff, so that the next time I opened this palette, I'd know which colors to avoid.  I was actually quite pleased with the number of shadows with excellent pigmentation and payoff.  Here's a shot of the palette after I finished:

The next palette I chose was the "28 Neutral" palette from BHCosmetics.  This palette is currently on sale for $10.00.  I really hate to say this, but I don't think it's worth the money.  The entire palette had only a few shadows that had any color payoff to speak of and the rest were chalky and very disappointing.  I also have the 88 Neutrals palette and I'm hoping there are a few more usable shades in that one.  As for the "28 Neutral" palette, it's going into time out.  There was one shadow in the entire palette that is keeping me from tossing the entire thing into the bin.  Shade D1 is this palette's redeemer.  It is an almost ephemeral vanilla with a green sheen.  Hard to describe but easy to love!

Row A, 1-7 left to right

Row B, 1-7 left to right

Row C, 1-7 left to right

Row D, 1-7 left to right

When I finished swatching this palette, I didn't bother marking the poor payoff shades because there were simply too many.  While I do adore shade D1, it's not enough for me to recommend this palette to anyone.

So, there are two of my BHCosmetics palettes.  I have several more, plus a bunch of palettes from Urban Decay, Lorac, and Cargo, among others.  I will document swatches here, including palettes and singles, along with anything else makeup that I can photograph and talk about.

I also have a YouTube channel where I hope to upload videos of makeup looks, hauls, and anything else that floats my boat.  Now, I end this first entry with gratuitous puppy cuteness.  Thanks for stopping by!

Edited to add: All swatches were done using Too Faced Shadow Insurance primer.