Press-on Nails? Oh yeah...............

I ventured out into the wilds of retail today and felt like I stepped through the looking glass into geriatric-landia.  Which was a huge improvement over my homeland yesterday, cat-barf-landia of which I was crowned queen.

So, while out and about, hobbnobbing in the land of misfit nana's and pawpaws, I managed to locate the current objects of my obsession, Impress press-on nails by Broadway.  I am a slave to YouTube the way Britney Spears in a slave to the dance.  Helpless, sweaty, and arguably mentally ill.  But there it is.  And when YouTube tells me something is awesome or great or pretty or OMG ALMOST SOLD OUT AT JUST ABOUT EVERY WALGREENS I'VE BEEN TO well, you know I have to have it.  So it was with these press-on nails. 

I managed to locate the brand at Target and grudgingly took two packages of the standard french tips, then hightailed it to CVS where I located a further selection of these lovely, plastic lady fingers.  I found my holy grail set of black nails, then grabbed a red and another french tip, this time with fancy black and silver scroll work included.  I took my booty home, grinning all the way, and when I got into the house, I might have danced.  In a belly shirt. With a rhinestone in my navel, held there by the sweat of gyrating masses of party-goers and club kids.  Well, it was a really rowdy dance club, in my imagination.

After finishing out my work day (at home), taking the dog for a walk, and sending the boys off to the grocery, I sat down at the kitchen table and applied my first set of press-on nails EVER IN MY LIFETIME.  I know, the horror, the shame.  A child of the 80's, born in the 60's, and never wore a press-on nail.  My name is Kim and I am ashamed.  But today I claim victory.  Plastic lady nails, you are mine at last......

So far, so good.  They went on easily, I followed directions and used the "prep pad" even though it scared me to do so, and have managed to keep my hands out of water for over an hour now.  I will keep you all posted on how these plastic lady fingers wear, if they fall off prematurely, etc.  Hopefully they last at least a few days, since I'd like to be able to keep them for the office on Thursday.  We'll see.  My hopes are highest just before being dashed, and right now the hopes, they are high.  Not as high as that lash lady though.  Egads, I have some scruples.

In other news, do you know what's even better than shopping?  Someone else going shopping and bringing you back sweet surprises!  My boys went to the grocery store and came back with this wonderful, cinnamon scented broom!  I put it in this vase immediately and my entire kitchen and family room smell blissfully spicey!  I love the smell of cinnamon! 

And now I must sashay away, it is Metamucil time and Amy would very much like to go to bed.  She is tired from all the imaginary clubbing we did earlier, her glow sticks have faded, and the glitter in her fur just looks sad now that all the thunderous dance beats are silent.  Good night Britney, good night high lash lady, goodnight nana's and pawpaws everywhere......